I was the first to walk in the doors and the last to leave. I doubted almost every answer I put down. The ride home was long. I recall thinking how my life was such a mess. I had become one of those girls that I frowned upon – A statistic. I was a single black mother, with no education. Just the thought made me sick. I really needed to pass that test.

 Two weeks later I received my score. I had done better than the average high school student. I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy I went to laminate my G.E.D. That certificate was a hurdle in my life at the time. I had done it!

 I eventually enrolled into a Paralegal Program and graduated at the top of my class. After I graduated I was on a mad hunt to land a good job, but that never happened. I sat home for an entire year cussing at God. I was mad and hurt. I just knew things were going to work out better than they had. I stayed home in a great depression. I cried, screamed, cursed and threw things around almost every day. During the times I would get on the computer to send out resumes, I also played around with Adobe Photoshop. I loved taking pictures. I would take pictures of everything. I would edit pictures for hours to keep myself occupied. At the end of that year, I recall getting into my car and riding off. I was crying so hard I could barley see the road. I shouted to the Lord WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!. I hated myself and I felt worthless. I stayed in the car and cried for hours. I eventually went home and told Kenneth, my now fiancé that I was tired of trying and I was ready to give in to that thing that stopped me from succeeding. I later found out  - that thing was me.

After discovering I needed to get over myself I contacted Tarrant County College.

 I eventually started Tarrant County Junior College in pursuit of my Associates Degree. From the first day I walked through those doors, the devil started to put up walls I was forced to break through or turn away from. Every month brought about a different obstacle. I was tired and ready to give up. I didn’t think I was going to ever hold that Associates’ Degree in my hand. Those two years were the hardest of my life.

 I felt alone and again somewhat defeated. I was in unfamiliar waters. I was the first in my family to attempt college and I felt like I didn’t have a chance. I think I even laughed at myself – thinking I could really do this.

 I felt like I was bound by the negative things I had been through as a child, and bound by  a family curse. It was hard to think positive when I had so many negative thoughts and negative things around me. Although I felt giving up was easier, I was afraid of failing, so I had to keep going.

 While on campus one day, I went to speak to my counselor about my classes. I really didn’t want to go, but she had seen me walking to my car and asked me to come to her office. Reluctantly I went, and I’m glad I did. While in her office she had seen some of the pictures I had taken and edited in my notebook. She instantly called the school newspaper to setup an interview for me. I was setup for the interview and I needed a portfolio. I had thirty five dollars in my pocket and I spent it all to get that portfolio. I went to the interview and landed the job. I was well equipped for the job. I knew Adobe Photoshop like the back of my hand. I had no idea that during that year I stayed at home depressed and blaming the Lord; that he was getting me prepared for something greater. I won several awards for my photographs and I was later offered a promotion.

I did finally receive my Associates’ Degree, but I still wasn’t happy. I wanted a four year Degree from a University. I was given a scholarship from the International Honor Society, and I headed to Texas Wesleyan University. It had been my dream to attend that school. I started Texas Wesleyan and the fight was on once again. It was harder than I had imagined. My daughter was living with my mom and I stayed on campus. I was offered a position again with the school newspaper but, the money was not enough to cover my bills. I had finally landed at Texas Wesleyan University and I was more than broke. I needed money and fast. With all the skills I had gathered during that year of being depressed and mad at God , and with the skills I had received from working with the paper, I felt I was ready to start a small photography business. I started that business right there in my dorm. I moved all the furniture and took the sheet from my bed to use as a backdrop. I purchased can lights from Home Depot and I was open for business. I named that business Froze-In Beauty Photography. 
 

Things got easier but I still struggled. I eventually moved out the dorm and into my first home. As soon as I moved in – the summer had come and I found myself unemployed. Here we go again. I had nothing to fall back on but my photography business. I used my living room as my studio and I was once again open for business.

The devil continued to hit me hard, and it was still days that I didn’t think I could go on, but I couldn’t fail. I can recall praying one day, as asking the Lord if I was going to really make it. The Lord reminded me that he would do what he said he would do, and I found comfort in that. As time went on, the fight got harder and I had to rely only on the Lord. I refused to let my daughter see me fail. When she was a baby I had promised her that I would not give up, and even though she didn’t understand what I said at the time, I couldn’t break that promise to her.
 

On December 12, 2008 I walked across the stage and received my four year degree. I took a deep breath before walking and I told the Lord “Thanks for doing what you said you would do.” – then I walked.   

I hold in my hand in this picture my G.E.D. that I had to get because I was a high school drop out, but on my back is my gown that I got because now I’m a college Graduate.